Saturday, 24 May 2014

Guest Post // To Ground Or Not?!


At the minute we are having a pretty tough time with Ellie, she is 9yo and well as my mum would say to me (when i was a teen bear in mind!!) her ''attitude stinks''.

So this week that was it I, had enough and I grounded her, something I promised my teenage self I would never do!


She has been pushing her luck (and my buttons) for over a week...she knows what she is doing...she knows right from wrong...she also knows that what ever I say I wont follow through, but guess what? This time she pushed it to far...this time she WAS grounded!!

I wont go into the details (it would take to long!!) but it basically started because I said she couldn't take her phone to my Nans (she stays every Thursday).

The grounding came after days of hearing, sorry being screamed at 'dont even love me' and 'just say no because I don't love her' and her ridiculous screaming and tantrums like a 2yo at being asked to do the smallest erm changing her underwear...brushing her hair...bringing her washing down! Tidying her room! Emptying her lunch-box! All small chores, nothing to taxing, for an independent 9 year old to do.

I know some of you will be saying 'shes just a kid', 'all kids do it'...but every day? screaming and kicking off? Standing on the stairs whilst I'm in a different room shouting 'dont kill me, don't hit me'...I remember my sister (now 22...yes, YOU Roxy (if your reading this!!!) shouting all this rubbish at my Mum, I remember laughing thinking it was quite funny! But when its happening to you, in this day, when Social Services can turn up at your door for anything? It scares the shit out of me! The things she will do to get a reaction, to get me to give her some attention!

So anyway she got her reaction, her phone (she has had a mobile-phone for around 6mth to keep in touch with her Dad and his side of her family, and also for us to keep in touch with her when she goes away to visit them), her tablet was taken away as was her TV AND CD player...Harsh? Well I didn't stop there, she was also NOT allowed to go to Brownies or any of her after school clubs...and our new found 'Date Night' was cancelled (Something I was GUTTED about, I was looking forward to a girly evening having some tea just the 2 of us!)

Her behaviour didn't improve the next day and I kicked she has nothing to lose why should she behave? What did I now have to say behave or......I may have, ahem, peaked to soon!

I had to think quick, but I couldn't think, I was too upset and I did something I shouldn't have done I sat and I fact I bawled, I know I shouldn't have let her see that she had ''won'' but that was it I was done...I cried and I told her to go to her room and she huffed and ran upstairs...Jenson (3) came for a squeezey hug and wiped my tears away, Ellie stayed up in her room for an hour or so before coming down and apologising, saying sorry off her own back! Since then she has behaved and now, as I write this, the day of un-grounding has come round, she has had everything back and the slate wiped clean. Her behaviour has been alot better, I know its only a few evenings of good behaviour but I think it has worked.

What do you do to punish your older children? A few pointers would be great!!

Today's Guest Post was written by Becky from 3 Princesses and 1 Dude, a great post (I dread the day I have to ground my C) - visit her blog here, Twitter here and BlogLovin here. If you would like to write a post for us, please contact via twitter or email thank you :)

1 comment :

  1. You should stick to your guns. I know you may feel harsh, and she may seem like she doesn't care that you've taken it away, but she will care deep down. It sounds like she's pushing you to see where your boundaries are, what you will/won't put up with. I know it's hard, but when she is shouting and screaming, just ignore it. My mum went through this with my brother, he got to the stage where he got so fed up with screaming and shouting because he wasn't getting a reaction, he gave up and his behaviour improved! I know it's tough, but your doing the best thing for you and your children!


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